In my adventures into self-love and self-compassion, i have realized that being judgemental and self-critical is one of the biggest if not the most essential barrier to developing self-love. Having spent months trying to push myself to love myself i feel like i have come to a roadblock, a sense of burn out. I think I’m realizing that in order to fully accept and love myself i first have to make peace with my mind.
I’m starting to understand that in order for us to change our minds in this way we first must understand that the very strong and harsh criticisms that we give to ourselves is an attempt by the mind to self correct a perceived problem. For example, this could look like a self-worth issue we are trying to address by telling ourselves we are not good enough or we need to be more THIS or more THAT fundamentally the mind is trying to help us but unfortunately in a very unproductive way.
Now that i am starting to feel into this realization i see the value in honoring the mind and making peace with its efforts to try and self-correct a situation. Making peace with the mind free’s up mental energy that would otherwise be spent judging my judgments. This allows me to go easy on myself and meet my mind wherever it is in any given moment. I think this realization speaks to the deeper issue of self-acceptance because i really do feel that we need to accept ourselves before we can genuinely love ourselves.