Interpersonal Impulse Control

Interpersonal impulse control

We gain very deep insights about ourselves when we practise mindfulness.

Along with many other things we learn about ourselves our impulse control is one of them.

Ram dass has a great saying and that is. “If you think you are enlightened, spend a week with your family”.

That really points to what we are talking about here. We are focused on impulse control in our relationships.

Impulse control is the control of your interpersonal impulses and these impulses differ in each relationship.

Our Impulse to say the first funny thing that pops into our heads. when we are having a funny conversation with our good friend may be very fast.

However our interpersonal Impulse control may be substantial when dealing with an overbearing work manager. Our impulses may be even shorter when trying to control our children or dealing with our pets in the home.

It may not be necessary to monitor our interpersonal impulse control. if there is no negative implications. However when our personal relationships are suffering impulse control then becomes a very important factor.

This can best be seen in intimate relationships were communication breaks down. Either when we say whatever we want or when we engage in the opposite extreme and shut off. Remember our impulses to not communicate are impulses none the less.

So how do we practise interpersonal impulse control? With mindfulness of course!

Becoming aware of our emotions reactivity, attitudes and physical stress. Will always give us a gauge of how impulsive we are feeling. Simply noticing where our impulse control threshold is sitting. Gives us the opportunity to decide if we want to react to it or not.

We may not always win the battle but one thing we do know is mindfulness brings us to the table so to speak to make these changes.

Keep in mind the decision to not react to an Impulse is hard in any context. I’m this blog i am only talking about impulse control in regards to interpersonal communication.

For more information about Mindfulness, please visit

Natural Mindfulness

Natural Mindfulness

When one first discovers the practice of mindfulness, it can seem like a never-ending rigorous pursuit of self-development that must always be done in each moment.

However, once we have decided to consciously become more aware in each moment, interesting insights begin to emerge.

One of these insights is what I call natural mindfulness. Or becoming aware naturally in the present moment.

We find that when we engage in different behaviors. Or we are immersed in particular environments, we naturally become more aware.

If you have ever been to an art gallery, seen live music or maybe even learned to surf.  Your attention would have been on the task at hand, even if that task was appreciating art.

Most sports have the capacity to take us into this awareness. When we have a strong focus on the task at hand.

So what does this all mean?

Well once we begin to notice when these natural occurrences of awareness happen, We realize that mindfulness is a natural process.

This allows us to be easier on ourselves when we feel that we aren’t getting anywhere with the practice.

Not only is recognizing our natural mindfulness a great achievement in itself. It also gives us the insight to recognize when we are not mindful. When our attention isn’t on being mindful as a goal. So this insight has two great benefits.